Monday, August 9, 2010

This is the time where it's the hardest. I'm living with a friend and her family, this is not my home. I don't want to intrude on their family time, but don't want to seem stuck up.

I can not wait for school to start back up again. I just want my dorm, my friends, and my life back again. Life was good when i was living with my brother, i got to just live the way i wanted to. I now have to live by another families rules.

I also want to apologize to some people in my past. I was young and did not know how to react to the feelings you had for me. I did not realize that, if I would have only listened to my heart and not the feat, i could have had you. I'm so sorry, please forgive, please allow me back in your life. I'm sorry. I just wish that I could go back, tell my younger self that it's OK, it's OK to go with the feelings. I'm so sorry

Monday, July 26, 2010

Recent activities

So, since I have been living away from home for the summer I found a new thing I LOVE to do! It's writting. I'm actually i the process of writting a book, a short book probably. The book isn't anything special, it's just a story. It's actually a story of some of my life experiences mixed with fictional, pure imagination, parts as well.

I'm really excited to finish it, and do some revision to it as well. Hopefully someday, when I get it all finished, I will be able to get the book published. It would be weird having a published book, and getting money from it too; but it wold be SOOO cool! I'm terrified to let anyoe read what I have written, because of the life experinces in the book.

No one knows about the experiences that I'm writting about, or a few selected people do, along with campers. But no family, not many friends, so it's terrifying to think what they will think of me. But I'm excited to finish the book, I can't wait to read from cover to cover.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

A few things I love

  1. Reading books
  2. writing in my journal
  3. Hanging with friends
  4. sunny days
  5. stars in the sky
  6. open fields
  7. babysitting
  8. running in the rain
  9. speeding in my car
  10. making people laugh
  11. book stores
  12. hugs from dad
  13. Twilight saga
  14. Teaching
  15. movie nights
  16. puppies
  17. shopping
  18. singing
  19. tennis
  20. lifting weights
  21. warm cookies and a glass of milk
  22. no bake cookies
  23. baking
  24. starbucks cafes
  25. bagels
  26. staying up late
  27. EIBC
  28. cabin dorcus
  29. sleeping in
  30. football; most sports really
  31. pearls
  32. coloring books
  33. texting
  34. chicken fingers
  35. shoes
  36. softball
  37. music

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Some of my favorite quotes

  • Love's involved with spending time together, but spending time apart, can lead to loving even more. ~Remember me 2010

  • You once told me, our figerprints don't fade from the lives we toch, Is that true for everbody, or is it just poetic bullshit? ~Remember Me 2010

  • Time passes. Even when it seems mpossible. Even when each tick of the second hand aches like the pulse of blood behind a bruise. It passes unevenly, in strange lurcches and dreagging llls, but pass it does. Even for me ~ New moon 2006

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

What is the answer?!?!
I stay awake at night, unable to sleep. Nothing is filling my head; what keeps me awake? I'm home alone, so there is no one to bring me down. Right now in my life, I would rather be alone. So what keeps me Awake till 2 am? I do not know the answer!!
My body is tired, but my mind is wide awake. I close my eyes, and no peace sweeps over me. I feel like jumping out of bed, and leaping towards the sky. I miss the stars, i miss being able to gaze up and look at the wonders that God has created. I miss home.
I miss my parents that provided my every need for me. They give so much, and I only wish to be half of what they are. My parents; give and want nothing in return. They are the best people that i know. My parents; sacrafice all so that I might have everything. They love and they give. My parents; I want to please them, I want to make them proud of what I do. My parents; they would die for me, sacrafice themselves so I wont feel pain. My parents; they love me, nomatter what mistakes i make. They love me no matter what i do.
I miss my home, my friends, and camp. I miss the security of it all. I grew up to fast, Can't I slow time? can i go back in time? Go back to simple times? make some other coices? i miss HOME, the boringness with my friends. Trying to find something to do, and complaining about it all. I miss security. The feelig of being loved by the people i live with. I miss a good night sleep, and dreams that are fairly tail like, I miss it all!


sleep, please come to me. I miss you like a best friend. Sleep, how long has it been since I have enjoyed you? it's been far to long my old friend. please, come and rest upon me. flow through my body and take up room in every place. take me to the lands where anything and everything is possible. Allow my mind to wonder in miraculous ways. I miss my dream world, i miss the colors and the way it left a taste on my tongue. sleep, it's been to long. please, i don't want a one night stand with you. i want you every night. come to my bed, and lay with me. sleep, come and make my eyes heavy. take me on a long trip. allow my head to hit the pillow and not have the strength to get back up till morning. sleep, you are what i want right now; you are all i need. sleep, consume me, make me be your slave for the night. i want you to take me. i want you to shackle me down to my bed, do not allow me to get up. sleep, i miss you like a best friend. Now, just return to me.

Thursday, March 4, 2010


Ugh, this is frustrating. I just PRAY that God will send a job my way. I have applied to at least 5 or more places and I have not heard back from anyone. I just need to leave this all in God's hands

On a bright side, I get to go home this spring break :) I'm so excited. I haven't seen my family in such a long time. And I get to see all of my high school friends.